


Familiar Burn

by plasma_shipping



Category: Lego Ninjago
Genre: Angst, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Self-Harm, Smoking, sorta - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-31
Updated: 2019-01-31
Packaged: 2019-10-19 23:00:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17610665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/plasma_shipping/pseuds/plasma_shipping
Summary: Kai having... a panic attack I guess?





	Familiar Burn

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to write a little bit of angst :^9

Kais' fingers traced along his wrists, looking at the littering of scars with various lengths and depth along the skin along with the miscolored marks of faded burns.  
He currently sat shirtless in his room; usually, all four boyfriends would spend the night together in one room; Cole's most of the time as he had a stupidly large bed.

After the horrors that is their past, it wasn't uncommon for them to have some days where they just felt... off. Kai's boyfriends did their best to help, failed attempts to try and distract the fire elemental, the end of the day ending up with them all cooped up in Coles' bed; boys falling asleep around him and just making him feel claustrophobic instead of comforted.

It took a careful amount of wiggling, but he eventually managed to slip out of the limbs of the other 3 ninjas, creeping his way back to his own room silently before carefully shutting his door.  
The way he fell face first was a lot less careful.

So now here he was, rolling onto his side and looking at the pale skin along his wrists, trailing down the light blue veins underneath the surface with tired eyes.  
Gritting his teeth, he dug his nails into the skin, soon scratching harshly at patches of skin over his body as his breath started to shake.  
Patches of irritated skin beginning to little his body, some scratches breaking the surface and pin pricking blood across his body.  
Flames were beginning to lick at his skin in a sudden fit of desperate anger and sorrow.

Choking back a violent sob that wracked his body, he felt his eyes stinging as he finally noticed tears dripping off his chin onto his knees.  
Taking a deep breath, he grabbed blindly at the draws next to his bed, pulling it open haphazardly and digging at the back for a small cardboard packet.

He growled, choking off in a sob, at his vulnerability, grabbing his blanket and messily wiping his face roughly; only seeming to aggravate his reddened and swollen eyes even more before pushing himself to his feet and making his way silently outside.

It was a dirty habit, something he wanted to quit. He knew his boyfriends hated the way the smell of nicotine clung to his breath and clothes.  
However, as he lit the end, taking a long drag on the deck before letting the smoke billow out in a giant cloud and swirl before fading into the chilled air.

Kais' eyes fluttering shut as he felt a burning sensation spread in his throat and chest, something he couldn't experience any other way.  
Before he became the fire ninja, he was a blacksmith and was still able to get burned; it was something familiar for him. Something small that normalized his life, heat overbearing on his face as he hammered metal and steam hissing and spitting at him when he would cool it.

Burning felt familiar, felt like home, and made him feel human.  
But as the fire ninja no heat ever phased him anymore, a fire could travel over him without a trace, flames would bend to his will. Missing something so small that made him feel so empty, He was grateful for what he had now, he adored his boyfriends and cared deeply for his two siblings.

However, he couldn't help the hollow feeling that overcame him from time to time, and he couldn't help but wish that just... just sometimes. He could still be just a blacksmith in a small town looking after his sister.

So he did the only thing he could do, he took another slow drag of his cigarette, and he fuckin' dealt with it.


End file.
